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https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/STORIES/Flashjack-Tales/12https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/AnnetteRuzicka_10.jpgAnnetteRuzicka_10 https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/1 https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/2https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/01AnnetteRuzicka.jpgwhere we beginWhere we begin. A panicked phone call from mum at 5.30am, she is spiralling into another severe depressive episode, I rush to her house and from there we head to the nearest emergency department for psychiatric triage. Her house is left in a state of unwashed dishes and will remain this way for the next two months. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/3https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/02AnnetteRuzicka.jpg02AnnetteRuzickaMum is admitted into the locked psych ward of the nearest public hospital with aged persons mental health services. It’s an awful place. Neglected, crowded and just, depressing. But it’s the only place where she will be safe and can recover. The guilt as her carer and her daughter is overwhelming. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/4https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/03AnnetteRuzicka.jpg03AnnetteRuzickaThe repetition and smells of these halls are exhausting. I never quite know what state mum will be in once I reach the end. It’s monotonous and brings forward all my memories of every time she has been sick. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/5https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/04AnnetteRuzicka.jpg04AnnetteRuzicka The lighter moments. Thank goodness for the friendly (and curious) local wildlife. Mum and I both love our birds, so this is a welcome distraction. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/6https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/05AnnetteRuzicka.jpg05AnnetteRuzickaConstantly driving. To the hospital, home, mum’s letterbox. The road can be comforting or punishing. Today was the former. Mum’s journey continues also, but she is getting there. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/7https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/06AnnetteRuzicka.jpg06AnnetteRuzickaWe all thought she'd be out before Christmas but sadly she was far from ready to come home. I appreciate how hospitals get into the spirit but I often wonder who it's for - them or the patients. But this reaction really depends on what day we are all having. Regardless, I appreciate the upbeat nature of staff and a touch of tinsel. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/8https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/07AnnetteRuzicka.jpg07AnnetteRuzickaMum’s back in the emergency dept. On Christmas eve she exhibited physical symptoms that the ward was not medically-equipped to treat. After a 6-hour hospital transport wait she was shipped to the nearest hospital. It was the hardest Christmas I ever had. But in this moment at 3am Christmas morning, I was just relieved she was finally resting as I had spent the last two hours trying to calm her down. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/9https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/09AnnetteRuzicka.jpg09AnnetteRuzickaWhat it looks like when potatoes are left untouched in a cupboard for three months! We find these on her first day at home. I love know nature can persist. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/10https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/08AnnetteRuzicka.jpg08AnnetteRuzickaRecovery after a two month stint in hospital can be tough. Patients - mum included - can become institutionalised and dependent on the system. They spend the whole time talking about getting out and when they do, they feel lost and incapable of looking after themselves. It takes baby steps. In mum's case, washing undies is about the only thing she feels comfortable doing for a while and that is absolutely OK. https://www.annetteruzicka.com.au/PERSONAL-WORK/The-Sound-of-Cicadas/11https://2fcbffeac9298b3df76e-69f4e484f8cacacdfad4570808df7dc3.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/10AnnetteRuzicka.jpg10AnnetteRuzickaMy beautiful mum starts to return. She's smiling, active and doing the usual 'mum things' - watching TV, hanging out with the cat and making an effort in her personal appearance. The relief for me is palpable. I burst into tears. Happy tears. The focus now is keeping her this way. People who suffer from mental illness need support, patience and understanding. If you know someone suffering, don't give up on them - just help them.